Subtle Pride

How does pride manifest itself? Is it always chest-beating, chin-raising bravado and swagger, like those energetic UFC entrances into the octagon? No, there is a more insidious form that exists in the guise of self-deprecation, where individuals belittle themselves to elicit sympathy, reassurance, and pleasant contradictions from others.

In my high school years, I encountered this subtler form of pride among my peers who, despite being academic overachievers, continually lamented their shortcomings. These students, who scored in the 99th percentile on the SAT, consistently earned straight A’s, and corrected teachers in class, would often declare themselves to be “so dumb and stupid.” But their pride quickly became evident from the gleam in their eyes when friends reassured them:

“No, you’re not! You’re literally the smartest kid in the class!”

Their comments were so egregiously incongruent with their objective intellect and academic performance that it conditioned me to always perceive such expressions as a veiled form of pride, a display of false humility.

The Apostle Paul’s Humility

However, this perspective was challenged when I encountered the critical, strong self-assessments of the Apostle Paul. In his epistles, Paul describes himself with striking humility:

“For I am the least of the apostles, unworthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God…Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost…Wretched man that I am!” (1 Corinthians 15:9; 1 Timothy 1:15; Romans 7:24).

Was Paul indulging in self-deprecation? Was this a form of proud self-pity? Paul was exceptionally well-educated, having studied under Gamaliel, a distinguished Jewish scholar of the first century. His training as a Pharisee, combined with his Roman citizenship, gave him significant respect and social standing. He was a founder and strategic thinker, planting churches and organizing mission teams with unmatched zeal, ambition, and influence. Surely, these low comments about himself must be a sort of false humility?

I came to realize that Paul’s attitude was fundamentally different from that of my classmates. Unlike them, Paul’s declarations did not stem from a desire for validation but from a profound realization of his own state before his Creator and Savior. As Ryle explains in Chapter 18 of Holiness:

“The plain truth is that St Paul saw in his own heart of hearts far more defects and infirmities than he saw in anyone else” (Ryle 377).

Paul genuinely meant and felt all of these words; he was profoundly self-aware and not looking for any sort of attention or sympathy from man. He dismissed all his accolades as rubbish when compared to the riches he found in Christ (Philippians 3:8-11). Paul’s humble view of himself was not exaggerated but accurate because with a clearer vision of God came a clearer vision of himself: a sinner saved by grace alone.

Reflection on Humility

Reading through the chapter, I am reminded that the essence of humility lies in recognizing God’s grace in our lives. As we reflect on the grace of God, we come to realize that all we possess—our education, physical abilities, intellectual capacities, attitudes, relationships, and our salvation—are gifts given and entrusted to us.

May we steward all that we receive well and deflect all glory, honor, and praise upwards to God our Father in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Works Cited

• Ryle, J.C. Holiness. Banner of Truth, 2014.