Intent
The intent of this document is to share a trove of Biblical marriage resources and provide a heads up on common questions people have wrestled with. This document and its contents will be oriented towards singles and newly married couples.
Ephesians 5:32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
Bible Verses on Marriage
Isaiah 54:5
5 For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.
Jeremiah 3:20
20 Surely, as a treacherous wife leaves her husband, so have you been treacherous to me, O house of Israel, declares the Lord.
Jeremiah 31:32
32 not like the covenant that I made with their fathers on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, declares the Lord.
Ezekiel 16:31-33
31 building your vaulted chamber at the head of every street, and making your lofty place in every square. Yet you were not like a prostitute, because you scorned payment. 32 Adulterous wife, who receives strangers instead of her husband! 33 Men give gifts to all prostitutes, but you gave your gifts to all your lovers, bribing them to come to you from every side with your whorings.
1 Corinthians 7
Go read the entire chapter đ
Genesis 2:4-25
4 These are the generations of the heavens and the earth when they were created, in the day that the Lord God made the earth and the heavens. 5 When no bush of the field was yet in the land and no small plant of the field had yet sprung upâfor the Lord God had not caused it to rain on the land, and there was no man to work the ground, 6 and a mist was going up from the land and was watering the whole face of the groundâ7 then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. 8 And the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed. 9 And out of the ground the Lord God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. 10 A river flowed out of Eden to water the garden, and there it divided and became four rivers. 11 The name of the first is the Pishon. It is the one that flowed around the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold. 12 And the gold of that land is good; bdellium and onyx stone are there. 13 The name of the second river is the Gihon. It is the one that flowed around the whole land of Cush. 14 And the name of the third river is the Tigris, which flows east of Assyria. And the fourth river is the Euphrates. 15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, âYou may surely eat of every tree of the garden, 17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.â 18 Then the Lord God said, âIt is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.â 19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, âThis at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.â 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
Hosea 1-3
Go read the entire chapters đ
Malachi 2:10-17
10 Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us? Why then are we faithless to one another, profaning the covenant of our fathers? 11 Judah has been faithless, and abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god. 12 May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob any descendant of the man who does this, who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts! 13 And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord's altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. 14 But you say, âWhy does he not?â Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 15 Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. 16 âFor the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.â 17 You have wearied the Lord with your words. But you say, âHow have we wearied him?â By saying, âEveryone who does evil is good in the sight of the Lord, and he delights in them.â Or by asking, âWhere is the God of justice?â
Numbers 25
Go read the entire chapter đ
Joshua 23:11-13
11 Be very careful, therefore, to love the Lord your God. 12 For if you turn back and cling to the remnant of these nations remaining among you and make marriages with them, so that you associate with them and they with you, 13 know for certain that the Lord your God will no longer drive out these nations before you, but they shall be a snare and a trap for you, a whip on your sides and thorns in your eyes, until you perish from off this good ground that the Lord your God has given you.
1 Kings 11:1-3
11 Now King Solomon loved many foreign women, along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, 2 from the nations concerning which the Lord had said to the people of Israel, âYou shall not enter into marriage with them, neither shall they with you, for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods.â Solomon clung to these in love. 3 He had 700 wives, who were princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart.
Jeremiah 29:5-7
5 Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. 6 Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. 7 But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.
Daniel 2:42-44
42 And as the toes of the feet were partly iron and partly clay, so the kingdom shall be partly strong and partly brittle. 43 As you saw the iron mixed with soft clay, so they will mix with one another in marriage, but they will not hold together, just as iron does not mix with clay. 44 And in the days of those kings the God of heaven will set up a kingdom that shall never be destroyed, nor shall the kingdom be left to another people. It shall break in pieces all these kingdoms and bring them to an end, and it shall stand forever.
Matthew 22:30
30 For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.
Romans 7:2
2 For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage.
Hebrews 13:3-5
3 Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body. 4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. 5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, âI will never leave you nor forsake you.â
Song of Solomon 2:7
7 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.
Song of Solomon 3:5
5 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.
Song of Solomon 8:4
4 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.
Proverbs 12:4
4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 31:10-31
10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. 14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. 15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. 17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. 18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. 20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 âMany women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.â 30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
1 Corinthians 11:2-4
2 Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. 3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head.
2 Corinthians 11:2
2 For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ.
Ephesians 5:15-33
15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, 20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 âTherefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.â 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Colossians 3:17-25
17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. 18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. 22 Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. 25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.
1 Timothy 3:1-13
3 The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. 2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, 5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. 7 Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil. 8 Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. 9 They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. 10 And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. 11 Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things. 12 Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well. 13 For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.
Titus 1:5-9
5 This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed youâ 6 if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. 7 For an overseer, as God's steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, 8 but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. 9 He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.
Titus 2:1-8
1 But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. 2 Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. 6 Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. 7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, 8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.
1 Peter 3:1-7
1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be externalâthe braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wearâ 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Revelation 21:1-3
1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. 2 And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, âBehold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.
Common Questions
- How do I know if I am called to marriage?
- How attracted should I be to someone before considering them for marriage?
- Whatâs the purpose of marriage?
- What are the non-negotiables in identifying a potential spouse?
- What should I look for in a potential wife?
- What should I look for in a potential husband?
- Is dating Biblical?
- Is it sinful to do online dating?
- For how long should a couple date?
- For how long should a couple be engaged?
- How do I know when to propose to someone I want to marry?
- What if my parents do not approve of who I want to marry?
- If I date someone in the church and it doesnât lead to marriage, wonât that be miserable and awkward and mess up fellowship - meaning I probably shouldnât do it?
- The idea of wives submitting to husbands makes me feel like it could lead to a domineering relationship. How is this not the intent of Scriptureâs view of submission, and what should I do if I find myself in this position?
- Should a believer date, consider dating, or marry an unbeliever?
- But what if we have known each other for a long time?
- But what if we have already been dating for years and invested a lot into our relationship, and breaking up would be really difficult for both of us emotionally?
- But what if I really like them?
- But what if we have really similar values?
- But what if they are willing to consider Christianity?
- But what if I think maybe someday they could be saved?
- I want to pursue marriage with someone who says they are a Christian but Iâm not sure how strong their faith is. What should I do?
- There arenât any godly (men/women) around me, what should I do?
- Iâm dating a non-believer, what should I do?
- As a man, what needs to be ready in my life before I should pursue marriage? (What should a woman look for in a man before accepting an offer of marriage or pursuit of marriage?)
- What should my relationship with the opposite sex look like as I start to pursue marriage with someone? What about in marriage?
- I have always wanted to get married and finally am! How do I prevent myself from idolizing my spouse?
- My parents and/or many marriages Iâve seen ended in divorce. Iâm anxious that if I get married mine will too. What do I do?
- As a man, I want to honor the Biblical call to make sure my family is provided for, but am anxious that I could lose my job someday and my wife may not be able to work. What should I do?
- A brother/sister agreed to date/pursue marriage with me! Wait, what does that mean? What do I do now?
- I married a non-believer, what do I do now?
- I married a believer but they are less mature in the faith, what do I do now?
- What are the minimum Biblical requirements for a spouse?
- King David had hundreds of wives and concubines, can I?
- I want help finding a spouse. What should I do?
- Why doesnât the Bible give us better guidelines for how to date?
- How far can/should we go in terms of physical intimacy before marriage?
- Iâve never dated someone, or I have but it hasnât gone well. What are some common mistakes I should avoid?
- As a woman, if I am interested in a man but he is not pursuing me and/or I donât think he knows I am interested, what should I do?
- Is it wrong for women to initiate?
- If yes, then what? Am I just supposed to sit here and wait forever?
- Should/do I lead my girlfriend spiritually?
- As a brother, there are multiple godly women I know. How do I determine which one to pursue?
- Should I have deep friendships with the opposite sex without pursuing marriage or being married?
- How long should I date someone?
- Can any two Christians get married and glorify God?
- Thereâs no godly men/women around me and/or in my church and I want to find a spouse, what do I do?
- Should I pursue 1:1 relationships (friendships) with the opposite sex either before or after Iâm married?
- What does it mean that the man is the head and the wife is the body?
- Should I get married if my parents tell me not to?
- Should I marry someone if their parents donât support it?
- How attracted should I be to someone before I pursue marriage with / marry them?
Biblical Resources on Marriage
Q&A
- Codependent dating relationships (what to look for in a spouse)
- Jealousy in dating
- Spiritually Lethargic Boyfriends
- Is a similar sense of calling required for marriage?
- What Does It Mean for a Man to Lead His Family Spiritually?
- I Feel No Sexual Attraction â Should I Still Pursue Marriage?
- Christians are Marrying Later: How Do I Wait in Faith?
- Marriage Challenges and Christian Ministry
- Is Your Boyfriend Mature Enough for You?
- Should My Church Help Me Get Married?
- Biblical Womanhood in Five Minutes
- Is Sexual Pleasure Essential for Marriage?
- What Every Marriage Needs Most
- The Secret to Marriage: Word to Husbands
- Has Marriage Become My Idol?
- How Can My Difficult Marriage Glorify Christ?
- How Far is Too Far Before Marriage Spiritually and Emotionally?
- May I Have Two Wives? Six Vetoes
- A Word to Men Who Demean Their Wives
- I Feel Called to Missions: Should I Date Someone Who Doesnât?
- What Will Submission to My Husband Look Like?
- Marriage, Family, and Parenting
- What should I look for in a spouse?
- Missions (with emphasis on compatibility in terms of calling)
Sermons
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Matt Chandler
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John Piper
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John MacArthur
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Voddie Baucham
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Mark Dever
Articles
- John Piper, Response to Christians marrying non-believers
- Kathy Keller, Reasons you should not marry a non-believer
- Deepak Reju, Help! I married a spiritually immature man
- Michael Kruger, Submission in the Christian life
- On Martin Luther, Radical views on marriage and family
- Sermon, This Momentary Marriage (Book, free downloadable PDF)
- Questions to Ask When Preparing for Marriage